Grab your best face mask and get ready to laugh your way through these ideas for travel in a post-quarantine world.
Inspired by this witty New Yorker article, we’ve thought up 20 (humorous) ways you can explore and conquer the new travel landscape.
1. Visit one of the places you have been virtually touring for the past six months.
2. Go to the zoo/museum/famous historical landmark in person and realise nothing comes close to the real thing.
3. Take the new language you learned while in lockdown for a spin by visiting a country where you can flex your skills, but instead confuse the locals every time you speak.
4. Relish in the fact that you can finally explore someone else’s backyard by creating an Instagram post with the caption: the grass is always greener.
5. Learn how to say new key phrases like “I don’t feel unwell” in multiple languages.
6. Pick up locally-made hand sanitisers as souvenirs for all your friends and family.
7. Use rickshaws for transport where applicable.
8. Plan your itinerary methodically so you know just how many Lysol wipes to budget per activity.
9. Go to the beach at the crack of dawn not so you can watch the sunrise but so you can not worry about social distancing.
10. Almost have an existential crisis as you look up glamping sites.
11. Stay in an RV or camper van but never actually drive one.
12. Plan vacation outfits around your face mask collection.
13. Pack a cute lunch for the flight, but get sucked into buying overpriced cute snacks in the airport anyway.
14. Make a concerted effort to support local businesses while in your given destination.
15. Travel to a place and create an itinerary with the best places to picnic.
16. Try to get a real tan instead of a quarantan and then curse yourself for not wearing a strong enough sunscreen.
17. After months of being stuck at home, ponder the meaning of life as you gaze at a new set of four walls in a different corner of the world.
18. Travel to a country where, like in your home, happy hour can happen at any time of the day.
19. Go to Italy and eat fresh tortellini to understand that even if you made fresh pasta 12 times during quarantine and shared it with all your co-workers on Slack, you know nothing.
20. Visit a banana farm, because where would we be right now without banana bread?