![\"a](\"\/days-to-come\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/tanya-2-2.jpg\")
Khan is a psychotherapist who regularly runs group sessions for people that struggle with different forms of anxiety. We sat down to pick her brain about why we get vacation anxiety, travelling in a tour group, feeling stressed while away from work, and jitters about flying. <\/p>\n\n\n
\r\n
See Also: <\/em>Wellness Tours & Trips <\/a><\/strong><\/p>\r\n I think it has a lot to do with the kind of personality you have. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Some people absolutely love the prospect of travelling and look forward to meeting different kinds of people, coming across different ways of life, new languages and culture. Then there are other people who need to know absolutely everything about a place before they go. It doesn\u2019t matter what kind of traveller you are, there are people who can be fluid and people who cannot. <\/p>\n\n\n\n The level of anxiety you have as a person in your general day-to-day at home will correlate with the level of anxiety you experience while travelling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s rooted in whether you struggle with anxiety in your day-to-day life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I know many people who don\u2019t get anxious while travelling because they can adapt to different situations and environments whether at home or while travelling. <\/p>\n\n\n\n People that do get anxious about travelling aren\u2019t always able to adapt and get triggered while travelling. They have very little room for fluidity in their plans, so you will see their anxiety manifesting in different ways. For example, over what time they are getting to the airport, they plan out their itinerary meticulously and then every last detail must be adhered to. From where they are going, to what they are doing and what they will eat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Okay, so from a personal experience, in my day-to-day, I\u2019m generally not an early riser. I don\u2019t enjoy waking up early under any circumstances, least of all when I\u2019m travelling. So when I travel I don\u2019t cram my early morning with things to do because I know that’s going to make me anxious. I\u2019ll probably spoil my entire evening the night before because I\u2019m thinking about having to wake up early the next morning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So I\u2019m very fluid in that regard, I\u2019ll enjoy my evenings, wake up and get dressed whenever, and make sure to do the stuff that I like that day. There\u2019s no set agenda in mind. Of course, when going to a new place, I have an idea of certain things I want to experience and that\u2019s absolutely fine, but by and large, I try to stay fluid and just go with my own flow as I would in my normal life. <\/p>\n\n\n See Also: <\/em>A Guide to Your First Time Travelling Alone in an Airport<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\r\n Generally speaking, if you\u2019re the kind of person who doesn\u2019t adapt very well to new situations or change – you need to stick to the things that you enjoy best on holiday. <\/p>\n\n\n\n My tip for someone who gets anxious about travelling would be to reflect on the kind of things you love doing at home and focus on doing those while on vacation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Maybe you don\u2019t want to run around checking off all the sights and attractions that we feel obligated to see when travelling because that\u2019s what we’re supposed to do.<\/em> Maybe you just want to find a place where you can meditate or a place that\u2019s very culturally rooted. It\u2019s important to make sure you have a vacation that means something to you, all of that can help manage anxiety.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If I\u2019m travelling with a lot of people and there\u2019s a lot of stuff that needs to be arranged and managed like hotels, bookings and just commuting between different places, I do tend to get a bit anxious. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I prefer to travel with like-minded people, who enjoy my style of travel. I suppose that\u2019s why tours are great because they take care of a lot of those things. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Try to get to know the people you are travelling with on a personal level. You might not always like what you get but that\u2019s fine, you\u2019ll find your comfort zone. Even if you are nervous about travelling as part of a group, you will always find two or three people that you really hit it off with. <\/p>\n\n\n See Also: <\/em>How to Prep Your Home and Life for a Vacation<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\r\n There\u2019s a very interesting comparison between what you\u2019re asking me and what I do. When I sit down in group therapy sessions there are about 12 people coming together. Regardless of the activity or the purpose of them coming together, it\u2019s still a new group, a new set of people going on a journey of sorts. So I put them in small groups, and give them suggestions about the kind of questions they can ask each other, and after 20 minutes, I switch the groups around. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re naturally shy — when you meet your new tour group — don\u2019t spend the entire first evening talking to just one person. It\u2019s very tempting to do that but if you can meet more people, it will help you. So the first time you meet your new travel companions, try to talk to as many people as you can, and have some questions in your back pocket. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You can\u2019t over simplify it. I don\u2019t think that anxiety is purely related to just travel. It\u2019s coming from somewhere else, it\u2019s part of your personality and day-to-day management of things. You can\u2019t really help that without doing deeper work on your anxiety at home. <\/p>\n\n\n\n That being said, there are some things you can start introducing into your routine today, that will contribute to your peace of mind tomorrow. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Giving yourself 20 or 30 minutes just to breathe through your anxiety will really help. There are techniques you can research that will show you how to breathe through your anxiety so you can move on to the next thing you’re about to do. You can\u2019t get rid of anxiety completely, but it can be contained. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If you\u2019re someone who has dealt with anxiety for a while you probably have ways of coping already, so bring whatever it is along on your travels. Don\u2019t leave your coping methods at home, you may need them in case your anxiety gets triggered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If that does happen, take care of yourself. If you\u2019re travelling with others, maybe you need to connect with people, find one or two people to talk to, or maybe you need to get away from the group entirely for a while. <\/p>\n\n\n\n There are many things that are simply part of going on vacation, your passport anxiety, the security line, your tickets, your arrangements and the like. It\u2019s fine to be anxious about these things, in fact it\u2019s to be expected. <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s when you get so overwhelmed by these things and they start to get in the way of you enjoying yourself that it really needs to be addressed. Experiencing a mild form of anxiety over these things is okay, actually let’s call it bouts of stress, that\u2019s just part of travelling. It\u2019s going to happen when you\u2019re trying to get from point a and b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s a completely different phobia. It needs proper clinical treatment, you need to be in sessions and some sort of therapy before you fly because you can\u2019t breathe through that or sit through turbulence if you\u2019re about to have a severe panic attack. You will eventually be able to breathe through it, but that\u2019s after you\u2019ve had therapy for it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If therapy is too intimidating or too big of an investment for you right now, just get started by picking up some books and familiarizing yourself with the strategies that already work for other aviophobia sufferers. But nothing replaces professional and personalised care! <\/p>\n\n\n\n With the kind of news we get from time to time, I don\u2019t know many people in this day and age who don\u2019t get a little nervous or can sit through turbulence calmly! Keep breathing, keep your seatbelt on, keep reading, or watching something. Just keep doing whatever you are doing, and try not to think of the worst! <\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s a different form of anxiety, it\u2019s performance anxiety. High functioning or performance anxiety is a real thing that needs to be worked on in your day-to-day life as well, and not just while travelling. Self-care is so important and I think a lot of us in the 21st century are neglecting that and when we do take measures or attempt it, it\u2019s done in ways that we think it should be done. Things like travel, meditation and yoga, these are all great ways to take care of yourself, but unless you\u2019re really connecting to it, you\u2019re just going through the motions and you should find activities that better cater to your actual self-care needs. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So hear me out. I think that might actually cause more anxiety and stress. In the 21st century, we are a performance-driven generation for sure. Hence the anxiety while travelling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So you have this high performing individual at work and then they go on their travels and between these two scenarios there can be no connect? And somehow, on vacation, they should be able to unhook themselves completely? How do you do that? <\/p>\n\n\n\n How do put yourself in a completely different situation for a week and promise yourself you\u2019re not going to think about work? Your brain is wired a certain way for all the work that you do throughout the year – there are real neurological connections involved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n You can\u2019t just suddenly rewire it for one or two weeks. It\u2019s perfectly understandable that you will feel anxious or stressed, so you have to manage it in a way that works for you. If keeping in touch or taking out fifteen minutes a day to look at emails helps to calm you, then maybe you need to do that. That\u2019s fine. The whole point is for you to be able to enjoy the rest of your time. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But let’s not hold ourselves up to the standard we have to be completely disconnected on vacation or we\u2019re not having a good time. We are not robots. It\u2019s the same thing as saying I wake up at 6 am every morning and on holiday, I’m going to sleep in until noon. You won\u2019t be able to do that, you have an internal clock, you can\u2019t rewire that for a week. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Yeah, I think it\u2019s a better way to do it than just trying to ignore it and have it play on your mind all day. Just deal with whatever and let it slide back into the background after. If it\u2019s emerging and it’s urgent, just deal with it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n But I say this with a lot of caution. If you\u2019re taking care of something that\u2019s happening to you at that very moment, fine. However, if that fifteen-minute email turns into you working compulsively for the rest of the day, then that\u2019s when it needs to be addressed, right? If you\u2019re a workaholic and you\u2019re going on vacation and carrying all that work and stress with you, that’s not healthy at all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n If it\u2019s experienced in a certain way. It\u2019s about the emotions you associate with it. For some people, even something as wonderful as travel has become performance-driven. <\/strong>If you\u2019re doing it because you have a list of countries and you\u2019re simply checking off the boxes one destination after the other, are you travelling for the right reasons? <\/p>\n\n\n\n Travelling isn\u2019t just about going somewhere for the heck of it. It connects us in so many ways to the world, for the fear of sounding too spiritual, it\u2019s also about oneness. There are some people that explore the world without checking boxes, they simply do it because they have a need to feel oneness with the world, they\u2019re fluid, adapt easily and genuinely enjoy travel because of that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I love old architecture and I\u2019m a big fan of Europe. I would love to go to Germany<\/a> to see the Black Forest and visit all the castles. It\u2019s one place at the top of my list right now for sure, if there\u2019s one thing that makes me feel calm, it\u2019s nature and old-world charm. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\nSo why do you think people feel anxious while travelling in the first place? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
So in some cases, the anxious feelings people experience while travelling could be rooted in something deeper? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"shot](\"\/days-to-come\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/For-some-people-airports-can-trigger-their-anxiety--1024x684.jpeg\")
Can you explain what you mean by \u2018fluidity in the context of travel\u2019? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\r\n
<\/div>\n\n\nWhat if someone doesn\u2019t realise they are struggling with anxiety, but something about travel brings that out. What can they do to make things easier for themselves? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"three](\"\/days-to-come\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Have-you-chosen-the-right-kind-of-vacation-for-you--1024x683.jpeg\")
Have you <\/em>ever felt anxious while travelling? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What advice would you give to people that are nervous about travelling in a tour group? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
\r\n
<\/div>\n\n\nSome people are more shy or introverted whereas others are very comfortable in group situations. Any tips for what people can do when they meet a tour group for the first time? <\/strong>
<\/h2>\n\n\n\n![\"a](\"\/days-to-come\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Nervous-about-group-travel--1024x683.jpeg\")
So is there a way to stop anxiety from getting in the way of enjoying a trip? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
A lot of people experience \u201cthe stress\u201d of travelling – getting from point a to b – are these just milder forms of anxiety? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"two](\"\/days-to-come\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Some-stress-while-travelling-is-perfectly-normal.jpeg\")
And what about a fear of flying?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What about people who experience a milder form of it? The ones who get the jitters as opposed to having a full-blown phobia? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
What do you recommend for people that feel anxious away from work – even though they are probably the ones who need the breather the most?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"a](\"\/days-to-come\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Do-you-just-go-through-the-motions-of-travelling.jpeg\")
So for people that just get stressed out while they\u2019re away from work – is there anything they can do other than things like switching off their emails or mobiles for the time they\u2019re away? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
So it\u2019s about taking affirmative actions to take care of your presenting issue? An email or something that\u2019s playing on your mind so you can enjoy the rest of your day? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
![\"aerial](\"\/days-to-come\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/08\/Travel-is-about-connecting-with-something.jpeg\")
In what situation would travel be an antidote to anxiety? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n
And finally, we always ask everyone this question, if you could take a tour anywhere in the world, where would you go and what would you do?<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n